I think I am morally bankrupt
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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