writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
