May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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