you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
