oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
