Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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