So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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