we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
