Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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