Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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