Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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