Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
