What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize