Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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