i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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