There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
