Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
