I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
