Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
