dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
