To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
