so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
