that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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