So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
