You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
