She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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