Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
