READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
