there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
God, I missed his penis.
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