So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
