i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
