She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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