I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
