today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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