so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
