dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
