In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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