It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
