I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
