Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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