Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
