It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Congratulations! We have a period
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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