Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
