My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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