Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
