tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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