just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
