YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize