handjob tips. give me some.
In America we eat man semen.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
