I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize