Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
