I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
