I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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