He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
