May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
