No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My bed smells like the plague
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
