I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
