His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
