So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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